I lost myself somewhere along the way, these past 12 years. I know it sounds so cliché to say such a thing but it’s true. I mean, my kids are my everything and I am theirs. That’s how it should be though, right? Maternal instinct is a real thing, yo! I’ve been the stay-at-home-mom driving the minivan, covered in spit-up, poop, or breastmilk for so long that I’m having a hard time identifying what my role in this world is now. I don’t really know who I am anymore…
Okay, maybe I sound a little dramatic (cue sad music)..
My husband travels a lot. He’s gone for weeks or months at a time and I’ll admit I get a little woe is me over that. But, hello! He gets a first-class-traveling-break and I’m here wrangling kids by myself day after day.
So, recently while drinking margaritas with my family my brother exclaimed “Lisa! You need a break! You should go visit Aunt Kathy in Hawaii!” and I was like “Yeah! you’re right, I totally do and I totally should!” and we were all “yeah!” and that was the very well thought out way that this trip was planned.
Monte was totally supportive! He said that I deserved a trip away, and that he would have everything under control and before you knew it I was on my way to Hawaii. I have a cousin who is a flight attendant and she was nice enough to give me a Buddy Pass to fly (so I could scratch off the guilt over the cost of a plane ticket off my list) and I was staying with family on the island so that wasn’t going to be an issue either. Boom!
I just got back from my trip a few days ago. I had the best time in the world, but… um… I was totally missing my kids while I was there. I expected to miss them, of course, but… like… my heart was aching for those little rascals. I wanted them there with me and said as much to Monte via text, so then he would FaceTime me and I would see them and it was all “awwww I miss you so much!” and then they would start whining and fighting and then I was like “nah, I’m good.”
My aunt and uncle were the best hosts and made this trip the most perfect experience. They took me to beautiful dinners in Waikiki, my aunt took me around to explore the island, I hiked, shopped- it was glorious.
However, I had never flown standby before, so that was a whole new experience for me. Flying there was basically a tease because the plane was so empty that I had a whole aisle to myself. But getting back? Um… I was almost stuck in Hawaii. Which sounds awesome if you’re not at the airport, but, like… I could not get on a plane to LA. I got to the airport at 5am hoping to get on the 7am and I did not. I did not get on the 11:50am plane, the 2:52 pm plane nor did I get on the 8:45pm plane.
By noon I was ready to throw in the towel and head back to my aunt’s house, but I was informed by a flight attendant that a Seattle flight got delayed and a ton of seats opened up so I had a good chance of getting on it and then flying to LA from there! It was at 5pm, but I didn’t care. I would wait another 5 hours to get to the Mainland because I was terrified I would be stuck there for another week. It honestly would have been a very pleasant stay because, like I said, I have the most amazing auntie and uncle who had taken me in and they were willing to put up with me for however long it took to get me back to LA, but I didn’t want to over stay my welcome with them, and I really missed my babies. I suddenly felt like Kevin Mcallister’s mom in Home alone when she’s trying to get home from France and she can’t get a flight because it’s Christmas and all she wants to do is be with her son. Legit panic.
Somewhere between 5am and noon I threw out my neck, and then my slightly stuffy nose managed to turn into a raging head cold and lung infection. I was quite a sight to see with my crooked neck and red nose, I was hacking up pieces of lung and I’m sure nobody wanted to sit next to me for the 6 hour trek to Seattle, but twelve hours after arriving at the Honolulu airport, I was on an airplane to the mainland and nothing was going to stop me! So many seats had opened up on this delayed flight, that I didn’t have to subject anybody directly next to me to my coughing fits because the seat was empty, so that worked out nicely.
I can’t sleep on planes. I don’t understand how people can sleep on planes unless you are in first class and your seats lay way back. I cannot sleep sitting up. My husband can, and I’ll never understand it. Ever. I was really tired by the time I arrived in Seattle which was just before 2am. I even tried sleeping on the floor of the quiet airport terminal right outside my gate. Or what I hoped would be my gate, I wouldn’t know until 7am when the plane would already be loaded. Sleeping on the floor did not work out. I can’t sleep in weird places, I was worried about my computer which was in my carryon bag next to me, and honestly the floor of the airport should be reason enough! I had six hours to go, and Starbucks wouldn’t open for another two hours.
Long story long, I got on the flight by the hair of my chinny chin chin. It was a freaking miracle. I have never been so happy to see my husband and children. Overall, I grew a greater appreciation for what Monte goes through when he travels away from his family. I can’t imagine being away from the kids for months at a time when I could hardly handle a week.
Monte did a great job keeping the house together, I was pleasantly surprised at the laundry and dishes being done, homework was turned in, playdates had been coordinated, after school activities were not missed (grandma was a big help there), so it was a great success!
We as parents do need a recharge every now and then, I find that I have much more patience for the kids since I’ve been back. I look forward to quality time with them like never before, and they seem to have gained some healthy independence in my absence.
Now I can’t wait to plan the next trip with the kids! I’m thinking ROADTRIP!