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Daily Archives: June 13, 2011

Someday I’ll Land In The Nuthouse, With All The Nuts And The Squirrels! Weee!

Before having kids, when I would see disheveled children with messy hair, mismatched clothes and shoes on the wrong feet, I admit… I totally judged. I would think; “When I have kids, they will have perfect little braids and pigtails, and adorable clothes and their shoes will most certainly be on the correct feet.” Well, it turns out that there are a lot of things you say before having kids about what kind of parent you’re going to be that don’t turn out quite as planned. I actually said that my kids won’t watch any TV before 2 years old, but now that’s just crazy talk! TV is awesome… and it’s all DJ Lance Rock’s fault.

I admit, with my first, I kept up with a lot of my expectations and did everything “right”. I dressed her perfectly from Fred Segal, Babystyle (I still miss you!!!), Splendid Littles, and Gap. I bought her $75 True Religion jeans and 15 pairs of cute little shoes when 2 pairs were plenty. My house was mostly clean and organized, and trip to a store or restaurant was for the most part, easy peasy. Then #2 comes along, and things get a little more complicated. The daily tasks aren’t quite as easy as they used to be, but I tried my darndest to keep up. I still managed to keep the house somewhat together, and darling daughter #2 got lots of faboosh hand-me-downs from her big sister (because at this point, I realized “who the hell in their right mind spends $75 on jeans for a 2 year old??”)! Getting out of the house wasn’t quite so easy with a toddler and a baby, and I admit that hair wasn’t always styled into perfect little pig tails or braids, and sometimes their shoes didn’t coordinate with their outfits (GASP!!).

When #3 and #4 came along in one package, it pretty much became sink or swim. If I can get everybody out of the house with clothes on, I consider it a success. No shoes? I have back-up in the car because I was sick of arriving at any destination with a barefoot child. How many times have I been to Trader Joe’s with a (usually) shoeless Aurora?? Hair in pig tails or braids(Former self, you’re joking, right?)?? Try brushed. There are many things that need to be accomplished before leaving the house and hair brushing is sadly pretty low on the totem pole. Then, of course, if I want to wear clothes, (which is always a nice touch) I need to find the time for that.

So, now I’m often the woman in public with the kids in mismatched clothes, maybe only half of their hair is brushed, and at least one of them has evidence of breakfast still stuck to their face. So, it goes without saying that I no longer judge mothers with kids who fit this description, rather, (much like Larry David in his excitement to see other Prius owners), now I smile and wave at them… like a crazy person… and probably scare them off.